Monday, June 2, 2008

Shopping Cart Etiquette and Trivia

A shopping cart is not much of a thing indigenous to just upstate, I agree,  but it just seemed to me that no one has broached the subject as it needed to be discussed. June of 1937 these dang things were invented by Sylvan Goldman, owner of the Piggly-Wiggly chain of supermarkets. I hope he got laid to rest in one. Why the dander? Look at our cars. Bumps and dings from errant and stray carts flying at 30 mph through the parking lot into the last good metal on your vehicle.

A cart can also become a mutilation device in the hands of a maniac who can rip your Achilles heel from a rear ender around the end of the aisle. Next stop then is a bus ride to the local infirmary and try to explain that to the doc and workers' comp....

Importantly, you can tell a lot about where someone might be from by the way they push a cart (downstaters). These crazed aisle-ragers are running on the wrong side of the aisle, zig-zagging in between people knocking product, produce and old men and ladies for a loss, kind of like how they drive...hmmm.

All in all, they are convenient and come in a lot of configurations. You've got your kiddie cart in the shape of a buggy, your shorty cart for the short load, your mega-load cart for the monthly haul and the motorized disabled cart complete with backup beeper.  They are versatile when the need arises, and can be transformed into a jousting cart for the college frat set or even a redneck shopping cart grill.

Scary part is these carts aren't cheap. In some states the value of the cart approaches grand larceny if you're caught purloining one. Try explaining to your cell-mate and the yard you're doing 1-3 years for grand theft shopping cart..

Next time....


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